Why self love is important for men
Self love is important for everyone, no matter how old they are, or what gender they are. Sadly it isn't talked about as much for men as it is for women, women are very open about self love and loving themselves. Men are still seen by many as having to be macho and tough, unable to show their emotions.
What makes this blog different?
I am here to tell you that it is time to start the change, learn to love yourself, take time for yourself, and give yourself the best life you can. I see all the men in my life struggle with self love and believing that they are truly enough, and though self love is a different journey for everyone, I created this blog post to help men achieve self love, as I have helped a few men in my life.
Why is self love hard for men?
Men struggle to discuss self love talk with those around them. Many men try to conform to what they think they should be, from spending hours in the gym, to trying for the hardest and highest role in a company when all they really want to do is run around the rolling hills. The stigma of self love for men is just another factor of why they don't dive into it, it can often be seen as “girly” but the truth is, loving yourself is how you find true happiness.
Relationships can often lead to men giving out more love than focussing on themselves, especially when their partner is someone who needs a lot of validation and time and energy. If you had to constantly give out love to others and be the reason for another's happiness every second for the rest of your life, how could you possibly have time and energy to love yourself?
Start re-evaluating the friendships and relationships in your life. Are you getting dragged down by others around you constantly? Do you get uplifted by friends and family when you have done something really good?
Here's why you may have said yes
Often a lot of the people that surround us are actually hoping we fail, and there's one big reason; they don't believe in themselves, so they hope those around them will fail so they can feel good about themselves. It is very important for every aspect of our lives that we surround ourselves with truly good people who support us. When you are on your self love journey, it is important to have people around you that support your journey, rather than those who couldn't care less.
Celebrate the small things
It's important to celebrate all the small wins in your life. Often when people get a promotion, those around them will celebrate with them, but promotions are something of a unicorn for some people, and for others, they may never see a promotion. And what else do we celebrate about you? Birthdays? Well those are only 1 a year. So what about the rest of the 364 days a year?
Let's start celebrating the small things
Some examples are:
- clean eating for a few days in a row?
- exercised for a few days in a row or hit a target?
- started a new hobby you've been wanting to do for a while?
- wearing that outfit you didn't think you could pull off?
- slept 8 full hours all week?
How to do it
The key is to make these small wins something that you have been working towards, that way you feel good. When you have a small win, reward yourself with something that makes you feel good and happy. Get yourself a treat from the bakery, treat yourself with a massage, take yourself out to dinner.
Hobbies are important
Hobbies seem to be such a big thing to the youth, yet when we start full time work, our hobbies tend to take a big hit. Hobbies keep us grounded and happy. Had a stressful day at work but know you have your archery class later tonight? Imagine how much more energetic you'd be to get through the day.
example A – Doesn't have to be what's expected
Always wanted to take ballroom classes but haven't because your partner doesn't want to? Well let me be the one to tell you that you don't have to have the same hobbies as your partner, nor should you change and eliminate all your hobbies and interests just to fit in with your partners. Hobbies are something that should make us happy, and what makes one person happy may not be the same as another person.
self love is not arrogance
From my experience, men who dive into self love can often overload themselves on self love and take a turn down into arrogance. There's one simple step to make sure this doesn't happen for you. Don't stop caring about those around you. Although we talk a lot about making sure you do things that make you happy, you shouldn't be tossing other peoples emotions out the window.
If someone is crossing your boundaries, simply communicate with them, rather than dismissing them before explaining your situation. Another tip is to make sure you don't turn every conversation onto yourself or your journey. This one can be a little more tricky, as the self love journey does encourage you to talk about your journey with those around you. Just make sure that every conversation doesn't monopolize it with your journey.
What's the best part about waking up on the weekend? A good sleep in? Unfortunately we can't recreate that on a work day, but what we can create every morning is a routine that makes you feel joy.
Enjoy a half an hour of your favourite show in the morning? A cup of coffee in hand and a soft croissant? Make that happen in the mornings.
Like to do a morning run to get the blood flowing? Wake up a bit earlier and get your morning off to a good start. Whatever it is that makes you smile in the mornings, add it into a routine so that you then look forward to getting out if bed, rather than starting the day on a down.
make a friendship with yourself
Who's number one in your life? The one person you can always count on no matter what? The one person that has been there since your birth until your death? YOU. That's right, you should be your number one in your life, because when all is said and done, it's you through all of your life. If you're lucky enough to have someone with you for most of your life that you can fully count on, that's awesome, I still encourage you to deepen your relationship with yourself.
Be your own best friend
A very big and important step to self love is being your own best friend. Being completely comfortable within yourself, and relying on yourself. An easy way to test if you are completely happy with yourself, is being alone with just you and your thoughts for at least three days. No television, no phone, no major distractions that lets you communicate with the outside world. This is often easier if you get out and away from your usual surroundings. Spend this time falling in love with yourself again. Figure out what you like to do, what your favourite food to eat is, and how you like to relax.
Let's start encouraging men
There's been a lot of movement in the last few years around “girl power” and feminism. I'm all about bringing equality, however I believe that during all this time, we often used harmful words against men, tearing them down at times rather than just building up women. Young girls are now taught that they are strong and powerful, but we've left young boys with still having to be macho and strong.
be the change
I encourage you to be the role model you didn't have as a child, be the one to bring boys up, rather than tear them down. Teach them that they truly can be anything they want to be, and they can change their mind time and time again on who they want to be.
You know it doesn't just have to be young kids either, do it for your mates, and see a difference in their confidence. Through encouraging others to be who they are and want to be, you'll notice that you encourage yourself to be just that also.
Thanks for reading! I hope these tips help you to build confidence and love yourself. If you have any other tips that have helped you, please share them in the comments below